© Ben Patterson 2009.
Pseudohazard Origins: A True Story
In the Far Future, deep in the Northern Wastelands across frozen lakes, snow covered mountains and rocky valleys extended the vast Mutant Empire. Ruled by their Hideous King, Ghaalfrak, the mutants of the North are bloodthirsty and vicious, the last remnants of humanity after an all encompassing Last World War. Unbeknownst to the Hideous King, a pure human child was born. Using the cobbled remains of a nuclear reactor, duct tape and a MacGyver Particle engine, the child’s parents opened a portal to the past and sent him through, hoping to fate that he would be safe from the Hideous Mutant King.
Sent back in time from this post-apocalyptic dystopia the child was discovered and raised by vicious Velociraptors. The boy (now known as Ben) experienced a childhood rife with danger and excitement. As he grew, his dinosaur mentors told him that he was the heir of an Ancient Prophecy and it was his destiny to save mankind. By his sixteenth birthday he was sent back to the Future by the top Tyrannosaurus scientists of the Cretaceous Period to save the mammals.
After a long and arduous battle against Quantum Sharks in the time stream, he finally arrived in the Present, just in time to stop a giant robot double of Former Prime Minister Bob Hawke from destroying Sydney.
With humanity safe once more (for now), he enrolled in an Electronic Arts course at the University of Western Sydney, where he spent his days putting brains in jars and trying to make video games.
In his spare time he likes to dress as a super hero and fight crime, nazis, zombies, draculas, wolfmen, aliens, killer robots and other assorted forces of unpleasantness. He also enjoys long walks on the beach, the sound of unicorn giggles and watching space whale migrations.
B.T.P is:
© Ben Patterson 2009.